Monday’s faculty meeting found me sitting next to an infamous conservative science teacher. An ex-marine and True Patriot, Mr. H has been known to hand out detentions for students who do not recite The Pledge, and was an ardent Bush supporter during the last election. We actually have a couple of these fellas in the building, and I tend to get along with them just fine. Which is to say we don’t talk politics much, as a rule.

The meeting was about the supplemental education service providers that were concurrently gathering in our cafetorium to pedal their wares. A higher up from Central Office came down to explain to us the logistics of the money that will soon be changing hands under NCLB’s regulations. Our school has failed to make AYP (Annual Yearly Progress) for two straight years, and as a penalty NCLB requires us to provide private tutoring services for any student who is on the free or reduced lunch program. The money is coming out of the Title One services we would normally provide for our students who have low socio-economic status (SES). The Title One program in our school has been eliminated beginning next year, with they entirity of the funds going to private tutoring agencies.

About half way through this explanation it became clear that this first step in the dismantling of federal funding for public schools is ironic at best, hilarious at worst. The SES providers are actually in the practice of hiring teachers from the district to do their tutoring for them. We will lose teaching positions in our school because of this change in funding, but the folks who are getting the money we are losing are giving the money back to us by hiring us to do their job for them. Muffled laughter throughout the room.

Continuing with the laugh parade it turns out the students are not required to attend. In fact, the burden of signing these students up and having them report to the tutoring appointment is completely on the parents. Whether the students show or not, once they sign up the District will pay for five appointments. It is my understanding that any money that is left unused at the end of the year will be refunded to the Feds.

It was at about this point when Mr. H leaned over and joked, “you and I should start a tutoring company and get rich.”

“Not much money in tutoring, my friend” I responded.

“Yeah, but this is ridiculous. Stupidest thing I’ve ever seen.”

After the faculty meeting Mr. H, myself, and the rest of our staff waltzed through the cake walk of SES providers set up in the cafetorium. Hardly perky, downright testy, these folks didn’t seem much enthused about tutoring poor, mostly black students. One sales rep admitted to me, “well, it’s gonna be different.”

“How much do you make in a year?” Mr H asked in his typically gruff tone.

“Honey, this is part-time. You can’t live on my salary.”

I gave him a wink and we walked on.

This morning at team meeting one of our special ed teachers was asking for the run-down on what is happening with the SES. Mrs. C is a died-in-the-wool Republican and has always voted Bush. After we filled her in on the details, and she completed asking questions like “what’s gonna happen to our Title kids?” (to shrugs all around), she declared the obvious: “Well, this is just about the stupidest think I’ve ever heard.”

“Didn’t you vote Bush?” I asked politely.

“Yeah, but I never expected this.”

I thought it would be rude to ask the obvious.